I have to start somewhere....

Over the last few months I have caught myself thinking about the internet that we have all become engulfed in and how everyone now has a blog or vlog to share their opinions, views, and thoughts. I have also begun to think of the many things I hope to remember from these days of my life, because I'm not doing the best job of living in the present, always reminiscing on the past and praying my present away and stalking an adventurous future. So here we have it, my first (and hopefully not my last) blog post.

Though tangents are acceptable in every part of my writings, in order to stop my blogs from falling into the irreparable mass of ewarwoowoo, I am going to list off the topics to be discussed somewhere near the top of my musings. So here we go!

Tangent proof list of topics for today:

Who I am
Who I want to be
Who has helped shape these

I am a 22, teacher in Dorchester. I am a christian with an amazing group of friends. I enjoy reading, coffee, and helping care for others. I work in a high stress, high anxiety environment, where small things make the good days and being able to ignore the rough moments creates great days.

I want to be a world traveller, I want to be an adventurer, I want to be a life long learner. I want to be a world changer, and I want to be the woman God has created me to be.

I am an introvert that has been influenced by everyone I come in contact with. Whether its extroverts who help me step out of my shell bit by bit, or my also introverted roommate who helps me see how my introverted-ness helps me develop into a more reflective and deep thinking individual.

I have been influenced by my leaders in church and in work, inspired by them to always reach further and work that little bit harder to fulfill my goals.

I have been inspired by those who invest in my life to invest in the lives of others. I would not be the woman I am today without my friends and family.

Season of Singleness (Part 1)

Tangent proof list of topics for tonight:

BEING SINGLE

     So far in my life, a majority of my life has been a season of singleness, with one or two short segments not fitting into that category.  Valentines day has recently passed I have found that I am finding it harder and harder to be content during this time.  Recently I have had a few friends begin new relationships, and instead of feeling joy for them my first reaction was one of loneliness, and hurt.

     Tonight as I was reflecting on this I began to realize the absurdity of these feelings, first because as stated before a majority of my life has been spent single, and a majority of that single time was enjoyed without a worry or a care about being single.  And second, in Jesus I should be satisfied.  I seem to be relying on Him in all other areas, but not allowing Him to be the provider of my love and the sustainer of my affections. Instead I am ignoring the most important source of affection (God) and reaching out to those around me whom are either rejecting me in that way, or just dear friends sharing their affection as friends. My desperation for love has me looking upon those friendships for more, and opening spaces where I could ruin such wonderful friendships, or step into sinful patterns.  

     As a Christian I should be running away from the things that are tempting me towards sin not tiptoeing closer and closer to the line.  

So how do I switch my view to allow myself to see and understand God's great love for me?

I'll look at this tomorrow by taking my first step and defining what love is..... which of course is found in 1 Corinthians 12:4-8, a verse that I will let you mull over tonight......

1 Corinthians 12:4-8

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8 Love never fails.